When I think of sex, I think of three different categories: gender sexuality, romantic sex, and genital sex. What’s the difference?
To me “gender sexuality” is that aspect of our nature that is most broad. It has to do with the expression of our gender in social relationships and daily tasks…our manliness and femininity as we individually express it. It’s fun to experience and express to others our sense of gender, and to compliment others on theirs. It’s a basic part of our self esteem and our lives.
Romantic sexuality is a more intimate level of sexual feeling and expression. It has to do with fondness, attraction, flirting, and other expressions of romantic interest, including touching, kissing, etc. More vulnerable feelings become evident, and our self esteem is engaged at yet another level.
Genital sex is the third level…I think of it as even more powerful and intensely engaging level of self expression—when one is emotionally present to themselves, the experience, and their sexual partner.
Each level of sexual expression involves its own set of factors and emotional accomplishments to be experienced well. I’ve already written on the importance of engaging your heart as you engage your body with someone elses, so I won’t say much about that here. But do allow yourself to think of sexuality in broad terms relative to your personality, with an awareness that it’s a part of your nature that needs nurture and maturity to be enjoyed fully. Sexual maturity, and overall maturity, go together.
Of course, I’d be fooling myself if I thought this is easy. The post above has to do with living with our failures…a very relevant concern to this topic!