One of my favorite, simple sayings is this: Do not go back to the well that poisoned you to look for healing waters.
By this I refer to how many times we go back to the families who hurt us, or people who are like them, to try to find healing for the hurts they inflicted. Of course, people change and reconciliations occur, which is a wonderful thing. But when this does not happen, and wounds continue to be inflicted, it is important to look to healthy people to have healthy experiences.
To do this we will have to accept that we have a tendency to feel most comfortable around people whose interpersonal style is familiar. However, it is healthier people who are more likely to offer love, appreciation, and a positive response.
Encourage yourself to explore relationships with healthy people. It may take a while to learn to recognize actual health, but when we are successful in doing so we will enjoy the results.